Making It Public

Infertility is a road that feels so lonely. You rarely hear people talk about it, especially when they're in the middle of it, so it's easy to think you're the only one having to deal with all the trials and emotions it can bring. In addition to feeling alone, anyone that has gone through infertility knows how attacking the questions people ask about when and how many children you'll have can feel.

I kid you not when I tell you that on our wedding day, we had someone ask us when we were going to have children. I mean, really? On our wedding day? We had barely even had time to scarf down some cake as husband and wife, there was no way we had had time to contemplate such an important life decision. Of course, on our wedding day we didn't have the slightest idea of what trying to grow our family would look like, but it still left me without words for a bit as I tried to think of kind response.

Everyone that knows Aaron and I knows how much we love kids so the more time that passed, the more the questions rolled in. My parents did foster care for many years and have adopted six (yes, six) kids, in addition to myself and my two biological siblings, so for me to have a big family was expected. 

We had kept everything about growing our family private until several months in. It wasn't until we started to discover that we both had issues that we started telling some of our family and closest friends and it was such a relief to finally let them in on what we had been going through. From the day we told them, they became our go to for support and prayer and we're so blessed to have them with us every step of the way.

After our appointment at UNC, I felt the seriousness of our situation start to sink in. I started to realize that it could be months and months or even years before we'd get pregnant. It could cost us thousands of dollars and we may not ever get to have a biological child. Coincidentally, the week of our appointment at UNC was National Infertility Awareness Week so I figured there was no better time to share what we were going through with everyone around us. I knew that God had given us this situation for a reason and it was so clear to me that we could use it to be an encouragement and an example to others that are fighting the same fight.

Though it was such a vulnerable time, I'm so thankful that we took that chance. Within minutes of posting about our story, the amount of people that reached out to us to let us know that we weren't alone was incredible. People from throughout different times in our lives told us their story of infertility and how they had overcome. Any amount of fear or feeling of being looked down on was erased by the overwhelming amount of love we were shown.

Since making our story public, we have had more couples than we can count share their journey and couples that are still in the midst of their battle have asked us to help them pray as they're praying for us. As we were looking to encourage others, we've been encouraged ourselves and continue to find opportunities to tell people about how good our God is, even on our worst days.

For those of you reading this that are in the middle of the struggles of infertility and haven't talked to someone about it, please do it. Whether it's me, a complete stranger, or a close friend, just having someone to vent to will help you tremendously. You'll be surprised at the large community of women that have been where you are and are more than willing to be a listening ear or a crying shoulder. Most importantly, talk to God about it because He already knows and already has a plan.