On April 25th, 2018, we journeyed a little over three hours from our home to Raleigh, North Carolina. Aaron had to be at the UNC Fertility clinic early the next morning so we decided to stay nearby instead of making the trip in the wee hours of the morning.
Both of our stomachs were in knots as we ate breakfast in mostly silence and then made our way to the clinic. When we first arrived, we were very impressed by the facility itself and it's staff. Everyone was very friendly and the building was beautiful. The waiting room was full of couples in different stages of their fertility battle from others like ourselves to pregnant bellies to the lucky ones with their sweet bundle of joy. We were loaded down with new patient paperwork as we waited to hear our name called out.
When they called us back, Aaron was to give a sperm sample (woohoo, he loves those) that would not only be analyzed but would also be used as our back-up frozen sample in case Aaron is to stop producing before we've finished growing our family biologically.
This was the first time Aaron had been required to give a sample on location which we both were glad to have avoided up until this point. The lady at the lab window directed us to "ROOM #2" right across the hall from where she stood. All I could hear in my head was "should I stay or should I go" as we opened the door to find a paper covered couch, a T.V., a sink, and very specific instructions taped to the wall. I'll leave it at that and just say boy, was this whole experience awkward.
Once we had completed this portion of the day and as if it weren't enough torture, poor Aaron had to give several vials of blood. After they had gathered everything they needed they sent us on our way until our appointment with the doctor later that afternoon. It was nice to get away from there for a bit but we both just wanted time to hurry along so we could hear what the doctor had to say. We got lunch and headed back to that same waiting room to wait one more time for our name to be called out.
When we heard our name this time, the doctor himself stood in the doorway and welcomed us back to his office. As we entered in and found a seat he confidently assured us that he would be able to help us with a fairly simple fix. He called down to the lab and got Aaron's results from the sample he had given earlier that day as we sat there anxiously awaiting him to hang up the phone. The doctor's assurance of being able to help us then changed to "there's nothing I can do" in a matter of minutes. He was expecting that Aaron had a blockage or just wasn't releasing sperm, either of which would be easily corrected with surgery, but this wasn't the case.
Turns out, Aaron's numbers were higher than they had been any other time and they were able to freeze five good samples for us to keep stored there which was good news, or so they say. The doctor proceeded to tell us more about Y-Chromosome Microdeletion and answer any questions that we had. He reiterated that Aaron wouldn't see any other health issues from it but did inform us that our sons would, unfortunately, have this same condition since they would receive their Y chromosome from him. I wouldn't wish infertility on my worst enemy so to think we would pass it on to our sons was terrible news.
As we sat there and listened to the doctor throw out all of the different factors in our chances of reproducing, most of it went in one ear and out the other because we had heard it all before. The one thing he said that grabbed every ounce of our attention was as follows, "based on everything we know about Y-Chromosome Microdeletion, you guys have less than 1% chance of conceiving naturally." LESS THAN ONE PERCENT. Now, I know we serve a mighty, mighty God and we are firm believers that He can work great miracles with our less than 1%, but put yourself in our shoes for just one second. Here we are, mid-twenties, healthy (or so we thought), just trying to fulfill the most natural desire of having a family and all of a sudden we're looking at less than 1% chance of making that happen. Talk about feeling like you've been hit by a bus.
The doctor then told us that we were perfect candidates for IVF or we could consider IUI with a sperm donor or adopting an embryo. He gave us packets of information on each option, each one costing thousands of dollars and seeming to have more cons than pros. He let us know that he would be sending a follow up report back to our fertility specialist saying that he recommended that we move forward with IVF.
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