Before we decided to go for our second IUI, Aaron and I scheduled an IVF consultation.
For those of you who don't know, IVF stands for In Vitro Fertilization. In a simplified version, the process looks something like this: I would go on birth control to level my hormones and then they would start me on lots of medications to make my body grow a bunch of eggs. When the time is right, we'd travel to UNC where my doctor would do what is called an "egg retrieval" where they literally go into my ovaries and take out all the matured eggs. Aaron would provide a sample that day and the doctors would then take the sperm and put it with my eggs while we pray that they fertilize and become embryos. They let the embryos grow for a few days and then either freeze them or place them back into my uterus.
Now, when I say that's a simplified version, I'm not kidding. There's a period of time that I'd have to go get an ultrasound every other day for 4 to 8 ultrasounds. It is a very involved and time-specific process.
I had done a fair amount of research before our appointment (no surprise there) so none of it was really new to me but to hear it out of the mouth of my doctor made me feel twice as informed as reading it on the internet. Not only did we want to talk it out with our doctor, we were also looking to get an exact price of what it would cost us to go this route.
Since we had been given less than 1% chance of conceiving naturally and that percentage didn't change when trying with IUIs, IVF would be our only other treatment option for a biological baby.
We learned at that appointment that the total price would be $20,000 to $25,000 depending on which meds I would need and how many cycles we decided to do. I'm pretty sure no one has that kind of money laying around, but we DEFINITELY don't and never will.
My doctor partners with UNC Fertility and she only travels there 4 times a year to start IVF cycles. This meant that the next available start date for us would be January of 2019 and if we didn't do that cycle, we'd have to wait several months before we could get started.
Also, remember all those horrible tests I had done over the last year? Apparently they have expiration dates.
So, before anyone can start IVF, they have to have all of those tests done plus some that I hadn't had yet but they have to be within a year of doing IVF. These preliminary tests alone costs us about $3,500. Once we started looking at dates, we realized that in order for me to not have to redo all of them, we'd HAVE to do the cycle in January. In order to do the cycle in January, we'd have to have everything paid by the beginning of December. Did I mention this was August 31st?
Needless to say, by the time we left there our heads were swimming and the pressure was on. We really had to make a quick decision about what we were going to do and we'd have to do some pretty serious fundraising.
Over the next few days we really talked about it and prayed that the Lord would make it clear to us what we should do. I continued to talk with my doctors office about what we needed to get done and the more questions I asked, the more it felt like we were going to be in over our heads. Finally one day, I talked with a nurse and she informed me that even if we did the January cycle, I'd have to redo all those tests anyways because they'd be over a year old before we could finish that round of IVF since the entire process takes several months.
Although I wasn't happy to admit it, it felt as if the Lord had closed that door for us and since then, I really had been lost in a sea of uncertainty.
Now, here's the part where we get to talk about good news:
Between the strain that infertility puts on a marriage, finding out that the last of our closest friends are expecting, and the deteriorating health of close loved ones, the last few months have been difficult all around. We hadn't had anymore treatments since our second failed IUI and we really weren't sure what steps we would take next.
Meanwhile, my company got bought out in September and we sporadically get new information about what changes are going to be made in things like benefits, leadership, etc. Well, a few weeks ago at work, we got an email about open enrollment for our new insurance coverage. I pulled up the website and was just scrolling through the information (most of which I just skimmed over) until I saw a line that said "Adoption Assistance." I read on and learned that our new coverage would offer up to $5,000 in reimbursements for adoption fees. In the big picture, when you're spending $40,000 on an adoption, that doesn't sound like a lot but hey, every little bit helps.
I printed out some information on it and couldn't wait to tell Aaron. I was feeling pretty confident at that point but didn't think I'd actually get to see what I saw next. I typed in "infertility" in the search bar at the top of the page and got the following:
"NEW IN 2019: Enhanced fertility coverage.* In 2019, infertility coverage, including in vitro fertilization, will include a lifetime coverage maximum of up to $15,000 for medical and $10,000 for pharmacy."
That will be a total of $25,000 in coverage. My new insurance is going to provide enough infertility coverage to cover one round of IVF. I couldn't help but tear up as I read it over and over again, trying to make sure I wasn't imagining it.
We know that our battle could be far from over but this was a humbling reminder that God's timing is never off and when it seems there is no way, He will make a way. We don't know what the days ahead will look like but we know that He will provide wherever He leads us. Yes, we will have to redo all those stupid tests but we will do whatever it takes to get to the other side of this journey.
